God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.   – 1 Corinthians 10:13

The first time my eyes spanned across these words in the Bible, I knew in my heart that God was speaking to me. I have experienced both difficult seasons of aridness and beautiful seasons of abundance, but God is teaching me so many new things now during my season of singleness.

I was in a good dating relationship before the Lord called me into a period of singleness for Him. This call wasn’t like a lightning strike that stopped me in my ways, nor was it some profound preaching that led me to it. In fact, it was quite the opposite. It was more like a quiet yet persistent tug at my heart, and something that told me I needed to step out of this relationship and use this time of my life for something else. The more I pushed it aside, the more it kept tugging at me, until I was somewhat convinced that I needed to do something. I knew of this idea of taking a period of time to abstain from dating in order to focus on your relationship with God and to discern your vocation, but it wasn’t until a few months ago that I felt personally called do this.  I wrestled for a few months to make the decision to do this, especially with the challenge of needing to end the relationship I was in. Also, my friends weren’t particularly supportive of my decision at that point. With everyone around me questioning my choice, I began to question it as well. I didn’t know who particularly to turn to with all my muddled up thoughts, but thankfully I decided to go to the one who led me to this place, God.

I realized that it was easier to let God work in areas such as work, service to Church and community, or even with family concerns, but, when it came to surrendering my relationship that was another story. My prayer would normally consist of thanking God for blessing me with the relationship, without pausing to ask if this is what He wanted for my life. I felt Him knocking at the door of my heart, and I was making him wait outside on the porch, because I was comfortably settled inside.

But, God has His ways, plans, and purpose, and He guided my steps through various scripture verses. At that point, I was riddled with questions and overcome with fear — the fear of what my future holds, of not meeting someone to have and to hold, of not living out the dreams of marriage and family that I’ve had since I was little. But, He was faithful, like the verse above says. God didn’t simply call me into this time of singleness and leave me hanging. He had a plan for me, and He reassured me that He would be with me through every single day of this journey.

Although at times it was difficult to surrender to His plan, and some days I wanted to run back to what was comfortable, He kept reminding me of the truth that, His ways are far beyond anything that I could imagine. He also spoke many encouraging words to me in prayer times. One of these were:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

So, I began to embrace this season and spend more time with the Lord. A desire grew to know Him more, and I grew in conviction of how marvelous God is. I also grew in a desire to please Him with my life. I wanted my life to be in accordance with His will for me and trusted that He was calling me to an abundant life.

During this season, He has worked in my heart in so many ways.

  1. Firstly, He affirmed my identity through Psalm 139:14. He spoke to me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and wants me to embrace the way He intended me to be.
  2.  Secondly, through the prayer of St. Augustine of Hippo, He reminded me that my heart was made for God, and it will always be restless until it finds rest in Him alone; before all things and people, no matter what vocation He calls me to.
  3. He taught me more about having ups and downs in prayer through Ecclesiastes 3:11. It says there’s a season for all things, a season for happiness and a season of learning, a season of fullness and a season of pain; but that He will make all things beautiful in His time.
  4. Lastly, he taught me more about responding to worries and fears. When I’m tempted to question if there’s anything good in store for me, 2 Peter 3:8 reminds me that with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. I need not worry because He knows exactly what He’s doing and what He’s capable of.

He is teaching me to heed His call, and to walk by faith and not by sight. Through the difficulties in prayer God exposed my fears of what He was asking of me, but I am realizing that He just wants me, the way I am, to give myself to Him first. Through this time of purification and awareness, He is making space in my heart to cultivate a deeper relationship with Him. What once began as anxious questioning and doubt-riddled decisions, is now a season of blessing in my life.

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 Pearl Mathias lives in the small town of Mazgaon, in the big city of Mumbai. She had the most beautiful encounter with the Lord while serving in Kairos, India. She spends her daylight hours writing for a local newspaper and buries herself in a book come night. She's easily inspired by people, fascinated by sunsets and in love with tea. Her mission is to be more Christ-like, right where she is, using what she has and doing what she can.